Along the same lines, there is such a thing as "love addiction," but it doesn’t make sense to me. **Definition:** “Love addiction (also known as affective dependence, affective addiction, and emotional dependence) is a condition that causes a person to develop an unhealthy and obsessive fixation on a love interest.”
To me, this definition seems to describe passion and a strong desire for connection and to be loved by another person. I would never label it as addiction. Love is a sustaining energy of the universe that manifests on Earth as romantic, paternal, human love, or divine love (Agape). We need love to survive, much like a parched traveler in a desert, and to fully enjoy life.
Well, I understand that I can be confusing, especially considering how we view "addiction" in general. Pia Melody wrote a wonderful book on the topic that explains the nuances. Love addiction arises from unmet emotional needs that are attempted to be met by an external source. Love addiction often focuses on the fantasy or idealization of a person to do something for us. However, the problem is that the things we are seeking from that person can not be met by them because they are often unmet needs from childhood. We do need connection and co-regulation, but love addiction seems to reach for regulation that one has not learned to create within themselves. Giving our power to an external source, whether it be a person, a substance, or an activity, leaves us powerless. It is a vicious cycle, really. There is love addiction, and then there is sex addiction. Sex addiction has some more chemical components of seeking the high of the hunt, orgasm, and dominance, still using the external to attempt to meet a need that can not be met there. At the end of the day, these are human needs gone awry. We will always reach for connection, but it should not be before we try and support ourselves first.
Along the same lines, there is such a thing as "love addiction," but it doesn’t make sense to me. **Definition:** “Love addiction (also known as affective dependence, affective addiction, and emotional dependence) is a condition that causes a person to develop an unhealthy and obsessive fixation on a love interest.”
To me, this definition seems to describe passion and a strong desire for connection and to be loved by another person. I would never label it as addiction. Love is a sustaining energy of the universe that manifests on Earth as romantic, paternal, human love, or divine love (Agape). We need love to survive, much like a parched traveler in a desert, and to fully enjoy life.
Well, I understand that I can be confusing, especially considering how we view "addiction" in general. Pia Melody wrote a wonderful book on the topic that explains the nuances. Love addiction arises from unmet emotional needs that are attempted to be met by an external source. Love addiction often focuses on the fantasy or idealization of a person to do something for us. However, the problem is that the things we are seeking from that person can not be met by them because they are often unmet needs from childhood. We do need connection and co-regulation, but love addiction seems to reach for regulation that one has not learned to create within themselves. Giving our power to an external source, whether it be a person, a substance, or an activity, leaves us powerless. It is a vicious cycle, really. There is love addiction, and then there is sex addiction. Sex addiction has some more chemical components of seeking the high of the hunt, orgasm, and dominance, still using the external to attempt to meet a need that can not be met there. At the end of the day, these are human needs gone awry. We will always reach for connection, but it should not be before we try and support ourselves first.
I will check out the book. Thanks for your perspective.